love letters to you

you know. getting all emotional all day isn't good for one's health. Thus I decided to engage myself in a series of relaxing events to rid off all the 'misery'. Not misery, let's put it this way maybe... self pity?

Self pity is top in my 'NO' list. But I have to admit that more often than not, I fall into this category too. But the key is the self actualization (the later part) where you stop to think and become sorry for your selfish thoughts. It's irritating when people around you don't go thru the Self actualization part as often as you do.

But what to do? I've tried changing and encouraging. I'm tired.

Yes, when in a relationship and when one becomes less active while the other is still excited like honeymoon never ended. No wait, I don't even believe in honeymoon, I believe in love. So who's to blame? Me for being the same or you for becoming less of who you were? No one. It's just that you have love me lesser today than yesterday. I can do nothing, absolutely nothing about it.

I am sorry. did I do something wrong? i keep apologising cos I never want to be misunderstood. But i realised I've been blamed for little things I never even knew was unpleasant to you. Little things that you would overlook in the past, that I would not even bother. You're childish but I love you. I never blamed you for your character, but why do you have to blame me for mine?

I had an self actualization this day. You need space and I will give it to you.
It seems like the only thing I can do right now is to give you whatever you want and whatever you feel like.

And to me - It's time to look for a second home to house myself. Cos my question for you will always be - will you be there for me?

this feeling sucks. took anti-depressants. slept.

love letters to you